


The Cost of Betrayal

by SgtLeppard



Category: Snakewood - Adrian Selby
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Not sure what other tags to use, Post-Canon, a brief one but it's there, some other characters are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 01:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14945405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SgtLeppard/pseuds/SgtLeppard
Summary: With the fate of Kailen's Twenty written down, Kailen reflects on the cause of it all.





	The Cost of Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> I have once again found myself in a position where I'm writing potentially the first fanfic for a book. At least in this case I kinda understand. It's a gross book. So gross. Firmly in the adult section of your local library. And I'm loving every bit of it ~~yeah at the time I'm posting this, I haven't actually finished reading the book yet, but you can bet your ass I spoiled the end because this wouldn't exist right now if I hadn't~~
> 
> This is mostly just something I started thinking about when I was trying to sleep, so I wrote this on the fly, but I can't even _begin_ to hope of emulating how Adrian Selby wrote Kailen's character
> 
> itried.jpg

It feels strange to read back on our downfall. Goran's done a fine job of making sure our story was written, but reading over what Kigan said, I can't help but feel that this could have been avoided. Snakewood was my fault, just as much it was Mirisham's, the Prince's, Valdir's, Moadd's. Mirisham was the one that did the deed. I was still complicit. I will carry that with me to my grave.

No one rightly liked Kigan, that wasn't a secret. He didn't quite get along with most of us in the Twenty. He cared naught for who he experimented his plant and brews on. There was no denying that Kigan was a right nasty fuck, but the rest of us weren't saints either, being a crew of mercenaries. Greed and hatred made us five turn on him, sell him off to slavery and take the purse for ourselves, damn the children -- poor Galathia and Petir. We were wrong to think we were any better than him.

It would be a great lie to say Kigan hasn't haunted me since. I've spent many nights awake, wondering what could've been done to prevent what resulted. What if we had simply killed him? He wouldn't have been a problem, but Galathia still would have. What if we had offered instead to help? Would he have accepted? There's almost too many variables to think about with that scenario, most not good. What if we had simply let him carry out the purse? What would've become of him then? How much better would the children's lives have been? What would've become of the Twenty? Would they still be mostly alive? Sadly, these are questions that will never be answered. What's done is done. We chose to sell him off to slavers. I'm not sure how Mirisham deals with this knowledge, but we both have to live with that.

I truly wish that things at Snakewood had gone differently. I can barely stomach simply reading what Kigan had been through. I've never been squeamish by any means, but his account of what he could recall of his time in slavery was nothing short of disturbing, especially so for one who was responsible in his being there in the first place. The way he described how the guards used him and other slaves made me think of my wife, my darling Araliah. I still don't know what exactly was done to her, but if what Kigan said in his account and shortly before he died was any clue, it's nightmarish to imagine.

Ultimately, a part of me thinks Kigan got his comeuppance. He had to answer for his own cruelties somehow. He's finally gone and dealt with after so long, but at a steep cost. The other part of me, on the other hand, thinks he shouldn't have been put through such an ordeal. Vile as he was, not even he deserved such a fate.

Maybe one day I can finally put that demon to rest. Maybe. But very likely not. Would seem fitting that it shall stay with me to the end of my days. For my actions, and lack thereof in some cases, I can't think of a fairer price to pay.


End file.
